Lyrics by: IHAFFers
Sung to the tune of: Ghost Riders in the Sky as sung originally by the Sons of the Pioneers
Listen to The IHAFF Serenade - mp3 - opens new window
I sat down
my sound proof booth
and did the Contour Test
The damn dots came up
on the screen
and picked the aid that's best
The input/output function
chose the aid that's great
I jumped into the sky
and did a figure eight
(not a FIG6 not a FIG6,not a FIG6)
APHAB-EE-EYE-AYE, APHAB-EE-EYE-OOO.
IHAFFER's in the know!
The aid came in the morning mail,
I checked the ANSI spec.
It did not meet the target goals,
but I said, what the heck!
I tweeked, I twied,
I twied, I tweeked
until VIOLA sang!
The patient wrote a check to me
and then the cash bell rang!
APHAB-EE-EYE-AYE, APHAB-EE-EYE-OOO.
IHAFFER's in the know!
The patient came back in two weeks,
I ran the Contour Test.
She picked the numbers that I knew
were the very best.
She never said that any sound
was painful or too loud.
As an audiologist,
I knew that I was proud!
APHAB-EE-EYE-AYE, APHAB-EE-EYE-OOO.
IHAFFER's in the know!
After six month's accomodation,
she came back to complain.
She said that even at the top,
the volume had no range.
I said: "My dearest patient,
just shove it in your ear!
I don't remember telling you,
the aid would help you hear!*
The first two verses of the IHAFF Serenade were written in a rubber raft floating down the Snake River while the authors were gazing at the Grand Teton Mountain range. Individuals who admit to being in that raft at the time were: Robyn Cox, H. Gustav Mueller, David Hawkins, Ruth Bentler, Bob Traynor, Jerry Schuchman, Rob Wolf and Debbie Zelisko. The final two verses were composed later that night with the help of Dennis Van Vliet.
* The original lyrics were radically altered in this stanza to maintain the PG-13 rating of this web site.
There was an issue with the picture taken of the IHAFF group singing in Phoenix shown at the top of this page. "Rockin" Robyn Cox was not present for the photo and so earTunes.com was subsequently asked to "digitally" correct the situation. We did this, but much like some hearing aids, there were some issues with "headroom" in the picture. We think with the updated picture above we could quote Mead Killion in saying that, "The Problem is Mostly Solved".
IHAFFers Robyn Cox, Ruth Benter, Gus Mueller and David Hawkins
unReal ID: 104 // Date Created: 2006-02-20 // Last Updated: 2006-04-05
